The Garden and the Gardener - Both in need of Change

Even as I child I knew I would grow up to be a gardener.  I have always loved to be outside.  When it came time to divide Saturday’s chore list with my Sister, I always took the chores that were outside.  Weeding, pruning, cutting grass . . .it didn’t matter.  Anything outside was better than spending Saturday morning in the house with a dust rag in my hand. 

My mother is one reason I took an interest in gardening.  I watched her and I learned.  Outside gardening wasn’t her first love.  She would plant a few perennials in front of the shrubs and along the sidewalk to make sure there was color across the front of the house.   In the summer there would be 5 or 6 pots of beautiful red geraniums on the patio.  She did create one amazing area in the back yard.  Under a tree she set out several Peonies and Lily of the Valleys that were transplants from my Grandmother’s garden.    Year after year she would divide the plants until the entire tree was surrounded with a ring of flowers that looked beautiful and smelled like heaven each April, May and June.  I often wondered why she didn’t make the whole yard look and smell that wonderful.  What my mother lacked in enthusiasm for outside gardening, she made up for with house plants.  She was an African violet expert.  She had them in every sunny spot in the house.  One of her greatest joys was being given a half-dead houseplant to bring back to life.  There was no doubt her thumb was a beautiful shade of green.  I wanted to be able to grow things like she did, only I wanted to do it outside.

When Dennis and I bought our first house in Newport News, Virginia there was a chain link fence around the yard.  We knew the fence was a good idea.  Maggie was almost 2 years old and a little ball of energy.  I was pregnant with Lisa.   But chain link?  No way.  So we took the chain link down across the front of the yard and replaced it with a white picket fence.  That white picket fence begged for flowers.  Beds were made, azaleas were planted and annuals of every color in the rainbow were planted.  Finally, I felt like a real gardener.

Fast forward …..  Twenty-Four years ago we moved from Newport News  to Apex, North Carolina.  In gardening terms, we left rich black dirt and moved to hard, red clay.  Everything that I had learned about gardening was only moderately useful in our new location.

We have lived in our house for almost 22 years.   The gardens have evolved along with our family.   When we first moved in we had Lane, a 2^nd grader that was all boy, Lisa, a 4^th grader that loved being outside just as I did, Maggie,  a 7^th grader that preferred reading to everything else in the world, and 3 English Pointers.    And the gardens?  When we first moved in the front of the house was where I gardened.  I dug holes in the clay, planted beautiful shrubs and annuals, dug up the plants that died, amended soil, and replanted.  I learned about the challenges of red clay.  Eventually the front garden began to take shape.  The back was reserved for the dogs and kids.  We created natural areas in the back, and tried to grow grass, but mainly it looked just like you would expect a yard to look with 3 dogs and 3 kids.  

Then came the golden era of cheap and abundant labor.  As each child went through adolescence there was always that one shiny object that must be purchased or life was over.    Dennis and I felt that money was spent more wisely when it was hard earned, so with each plea for cash to buy the coveted shiny object a new gardening project was planned.  Pay rates were negotiated, a schedule was set and things would start happening.    More and more clay was dug out and replaced with good soil.  Flowers beds were expanded, modified and added.  Weeding and mulching got done.  Through the hard work of my kids and quite a few of the neighborhood kids that were also in pursuit of some shiny object, our yard became more and more garden and less and less grass. 

The past 10 years have been all about change.   We have lost some of those that were dear to our hearts.  Our kids are all married (one was married right here in a beautiful back yard garden wedding).  Our 4 grandchildren are the greatest gift we have ever received.  We are no longer thought of as Susan and Dennis.  We are Mimi and Jambo.  The house has gone through renovations and updates.  We added a small pond to the back yard, but everything else back there has stayed the same.    

The gardens, especially in the back yard, are begging for a change.  The front still looks good but there are bushes that need to be replaced and a side yard that has never truly looked great.  The back yard is the real problem.  From a distance, it is attractive.  The form and the structure work but there are serious issues.   Close encounters with snakes (copperheads to be exact) have made me afraid to work in the flower beds.  Instead of gardening as a stress reliever, the back yard has become a stressful chore.  The backyard use to be sunny /partly sunny.  Thanks to years of hardwood growth in the greenway area behind our house, our back yard is now shady/partly shady.  Many of the plants and bushes are not suitable for the decrease in light.  Things are overgrown, crowded, leggy and stretching for the sun. Weeds flourish.

And the gardener is also in need of a change.  My career has become difficult.  Partly because of the impact of the recession  and partly because of internal issues at work that are not easily resolved.  I am conflicted.  Do I stay or do I go?  

 I have so much in my life to be thankful for, yet I need a diversion.  Something that allows me to momentarily leave everything else behind.  Something that gives me instant gratification.  Something that quiets my thoughts.  Something creative.  Something that is just for me.  Gardening.

So, after hours spent sitting on the back porch, staring at the back yard, I am resolved.  I will Rethink, Repair, Rejuvenate myself and my garden.  I WILL enjoy my back yard once again.  Copperheads be damned.   Plants will flourish and weeds will die.  Good decisions will be made.  This is war and I intend to win (with Dennis’ help of course).

Next spring there will be a party at my house.  In the garden.  It will be great!